SIMUN

I'm exhausted. I've been feeling this way for the past three days everytime I come home. It is tiring work to spend the whole day debating with delegates of various countries. So anyway, updates are due on the Singapore Model United Nations, or SIMUN.

I love the French School, or the Lycee Francais de Singapour (Singapore is pronounced as Singa-poo, how sweet!). The grounds are so European and recreational. Anyway, the conference began well on the first day. There was intense lobbying and a mad rush to get our resolutions printed in time for the committee sessions. The sessions were even better. I found that it is rather enjoyable to point out and bash the various flaws in resolutions. Of course, everything must be said and done in a diplomatic fashion, and also in the third person form of speech. To demonstrate that I shall continue the rest of this post in the third person. I was the ambassador of Brazil for the uninitiated.

To begin, Brazil wishes to stress that it supports the elimination of all forms of religious intolerance. To this end, the delegate of Brazil merged his resolution with the delegates of Australia, Human Rights Watch, Russia, Israel, Sierra Leone, Panama, the United Kingdom, and Japan. The bloc's resolution was passed overwhelmingly by the Human Rights Sub-Committee 2, from which it went on to be debated in the General Assembly, where it too was passed by a large majority. Sub-Com 2 only passed our resolution, out of the 5 that were debated in the committee. The ambassador of Syria was most disrespectful to UN protocol and was almost thrown out by the chair. The delegate of Brazil wishes to stress that Brazil was strongly opposed to the resolution proposed by Syria. Also, the delegate of Panama was repeatedly warned by the chair for using the first-person.

Moving away from third-person, I'm sure you'll all have noted the hilarity that can ensue from using the third person all the time. When the chairperson wished to express her anger with Syria, she had to say, "The chair wishes to say that it is very angry...". And all this third person thingy sometimes makes delegates sound very sarcastic, like when we raise points of information, "Is the delegate of so-and-so aware of..." or "Does the delegate of so-and-so not agree that..."

I was disappointed with today's General Assembly session, as we had to rush through the last few resolutions to fit them in and hence could not make amendments to them. Also, I was strongly against the Security Council resolution on the situation in Georgia that was passed. Russia was clearly acting in its vested interests and not for the good of Georgia. the UK was an even more vehement defender of the resolution.

It was interesting and humourous to see various delegates really getting into character. The ambassadors of North Korea and Cuba respectively were continously hectoring the US for "extending it's empire". Today Cuba went up and accused a US-led resolution of trying to "cover its ass". The US delegation promptly demanded an apology. Cuba relented, but said that the sentiments it expressed remained unchanged.

I heard from other committees that in the one room the Russian delegate threatened the room with use of force, calling for the need to correct "the balance of power" in the Mediterranean. In another room the North Korean delegate gave a brilliant speech in favour of democracy, to which the Iranian delegate replied, "After hearing that speech, Iran notes that the situation of democracy in North Korea leaves something to be desired. How does the delegate explain this?" To which N Korea replied, "Just because North Korea does not practise democracy does not mean it cannot comment on it." Just some snippets of SIMUN politics...

In my own room Panama called for the wall between Israel and Palestine to be torn down. Of course, Israel opposed this, whereas Palestine argued that the wall was a breach of human rights. For my part, I sided with Israel on the grounds that a peacekeeping force sent into the area to replace the wall would worsen the situation.

All in all, I feel that SIMUN has been a great learning experience for me in terms of international diplomacy and issues. I must say that the scenery was very good. I personally felt that Madam Secretary General was very elegant, smart and, well... delectable. And the delegates of the UK, Japan and Israel caught my eye too, haha. I think I have a fondness for foreign women... Thankfully I am proud to say that good scenery did not distract this delegate from the more pressind issues at hand.

Ugh, block test. It's such an anticlimax to degenerate from high politics into mere drudgery... back down to earth, Joel, back down to earth...